now it's been 2 years since he decided to take a car ride out of this life.


Sometimes it's so easy to believe that life just overloads you with unsolvable problems and emotions you cannot take.
But the realization that you actually can find a way. One that enlargens you .. that makes your heart wider..that makes you more aware of life.. is breathtaking.
I am thankful for living.
Maybe I will understand him better some day.All I know is that I was never forced to learn and adapt so quickly as in these two years.
The soul is so much different from the body. When it heals it doesn't just build up a new layer of skin to replace the old torn one. It completely redefines itself. reinvents itself. This is not about replacing. never will be.
-





We only meet when I dream
there is no other way for us
I lost my words in reality
I injected them I pushed them I sang I broke I drove I squeezed them into you
the human heart is just not
impermeable enough
to keep them from being
lost from being lost and scattered within your body and then just vanish
because I mean what I said
back then
back then
when I said that I love you
when I said it only at your grave
that some piece of us is stitched together but reality
is a color that wasn't good for our eyes
Our real eyes could not recognize each other.
I meet you
when I dream
and everytime you appear in your seethrough body
and I reach my arm through your
beating transparent heart
I blow words to you
because there is no gravity in my dream
there is no gravity in this dream
And I will never understand
how we could meet
only after one of us had to lose his body
you
and now it's like I almost forgot
when I saw you as a breathing human
infront of me
because these dreams
because I treasure them so dearly.
I have removed
so many fears to be able
to have space for them.
When I meet you in my dreams brother
you never speak
your face is preserved in
a silence I will never understand.
I can of course ask
I can ask.
I can continue asking but it will break me one day.
In this dream, brother
there is nothing that seperates us anymore.
no reason
to hide the spot on our skin where we are
stitched together
-

I mean this . If you love someone. If you are happy to have him or her around . Say so before it is too late.
Life is so incredibly fleeting.


nova